Tuesday, July 20, 2010

An Open Letter to Groupon from an Addict

Dear Groupon Louisville,

Sweet Mother of Christmas, I can't seem to quit you!  Just when I've told myself "Lou, no more Groupons until you use the ones you've got," you throw LIBA week our way where you feature nothing but independent Louisville businesses.  How could I pass up yesterday's Why Louisville? Groupon?

I know you're newish to the Louisville scene and have existed in other cities for a while, but ever since you came to our fair city, I've been an addict.  I'm not above finding myself awake in the middle of the night and checking my iTouch to see what discounted goodness you've sent to my mailbox in the wee hours.  I've signed up for New Orleans and Cincy, too, because I travel to both places often enough.  Roommate subscribes to Nashville for the same reason.

I currently have more than $300 in Groupon gift certificates waiting to be used.  Of course, I paid less than half that for all those Groupons.  I keep thinking that I should have a Groupon week and do nothing that doesn't use my Groupons.  I could buy books at the Book and Music Exchange and enjoy a good read while at Coco's Chocolate Cafe.  Then I could work off those extra pounds at a Jazzercise class or by buying some hiking gear at the Trail Store.  If I went hiking, I could pack a lunch from Heitzman's deli or Bodega, and celebrate my success at White Oak... you get the picture.

Since you've arrived on the scene, Groupon, we've seen at least two other sites try to replicate your success:  Living Social and Try it Local.  And of course there's the older, sometimes sketchy, Restaurants.com.  So far none of those sites has inspired addiction quite like you have.

As long as I'm going to remain a Groupon addict-- because I can't seem to quit you-- I might as well give you my wish list:

1) More sushi-- I'd love to see Oiishi or Wasabiya on your site.
2) Fewer hair salons-- Just how many heads of hair do you think we have?
3) A week of local gift-y boutiques right before the holidays-- most of my boutique-y Groupons will expire well in advance of gift-giving season.
4) More coffee shops-- Maybe for whole bean coffee?  Don't make us get pastries.
5) Nice seats at Churchill-- could be the only way I ever get to the track for more than General Admission.
6) Baxter Ave Theater-- Maybe a two-for-one deal?
7) Grocery stores-- fun AND practical.
8) Downtown Hotels-- be a tourist in your own city, as long as the Groupon rate is lower than you can normally get on Hotwire or Priceline.
9) More brand new businesses-- what a great way for a new local business to get people in the door!
10) 7 Days a week-- other Groupon cities offer a new Groupon every day!

Thanks for hearing me out Groupon.  A belated welcome to Louisville.  Keep the deals coming!

Best,
Lou

PS: Readers, if you haven't tried Groupon yet, if you click my link, I get some sort of bonus Groupon points.  Just sayin... :)

3 comments:

Bill said...

I know exactly how you feel. Last I checked I've got almost double-digit Groupons waiting to be used. I'm a little afraid I'll never use my Restaurant.com certificates though...

Ceece said...

oh my goodness, I feel the same damn way! Although, I dig all the hair salons, because most of them offer pedicures and getting a pedicure for $20? crazy cheap.

I love groupon!!!

M said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only Groupon kook! Big fan. Big fan.

Restaurant.com makes me nuts because it's always "for two," and as a single Louisvillager, I don't always have a date. (I KNOW! Surprising, huh?!)

And you're right, Ceece, even the cheapest pedi place near me is $25, so that IS a good deal.

What business would YOU like to see on Groupon?