I'm a nerd for many things, but I'm primarily a pop culture nerd. So of course, the EW.com RSS feed is in my Google Readers. I'm not a huge fan of Kathy Griffin, but a few episodes of her "My Life on the D-List" convinced me she's a real sweetheart sometimes AND that I desperately need an assistant.
Anyway, when EW reprinted Griffin's bio from the Playbill for her new Broadway show, I had a few chuckles. Most of it is hilariously fictional:
Broadway: Speed-the-Plow (with Jeremy Piven, sushi-taster no. 4); Macbeth (Macbeth’s wisecracking red-headed sidekick); Les Miserables (Jean Valjean’s funny flame-haired henchwoman); The Iceman Cometh (Iceman’s sharp-tongued best friend); Neil LaBute’s I Hate You But I Won’t Say It Till It Can Do The Most Damage (dead whore); Cats (Fierce-y Tattletail MacHairBall); Sweeney Todd (Pie Eater No. 3); Chicago (Mrs. Cellophane); Your Arms Too Short to Box With God: A Soaring Celebration in Song and Dance (God’s fight promoter); Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark (head stuntwoman, fired).
The only non-jokey category appears to be this one:
Awards: Ms. Griffin has received two Emmy awards, having been nominated seven times. She has also received three Grammy nominations, the GLAAD Vanguard award, the Trevor Project’s Lifetime Honoree award, the Human Rights Campaign’s Ally for Equality award, a 2007 GAYVN award (aka gay porn), the key to Louisville, and the 2011 Tony Award (fingers crossed!)
Uh, did you catch that? The key to Louisville?? (A little Googling, and I find out that this happened in 2006, and only five people showed up to the ceremony.)
I used to think that my biggest aspiration was to be a Kentucky Colonel. Scratch that! I need the key to the city. Stat! And what exactly does this key open...?