Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hullabahuh? Maybe your mother's music festival. Or your aunt's.

[spoiler alert: this is seriously going to reveal my age.]

Once upon a time in a land far, far away a very little Lou lived in an apartment attached to the house of her Great Aunt Rose. Great Aunt Rose was everything the name implies. She was a large Portuguese woman, a woman of a seemingly bottomless appetite for sweets and an equally bottomless capacity for love. And although she seemed very old to Lou at the time, she was probably only in her late 50's or early 60's. Each morning, Aunt Rose chose her daily hairstyle from a buffet of nigh-identical glossy black wigs and her wardrobe from a closet full of tropical printed knee-length mu-mus, which she paired with knee socks and black, high heeled, lace-up shoes.

Aunt Rose didn't have grandchildren of her own (yet), so she liked nothing more than to spoil little Lou with peanut butter and fluff sandwiches, hugs and kisses, and cuddles on the couch while watching tv. All Aunt Rose watched were soaps (her "stories") and variety shows.

Aunt Rose loved music. Her favorites included Englebert Humperdink, Liberace, Tony Orlando, and Gordon Lightfoot. But the man of her dreams was Tom Jones. (Several decades later, little Lou, in her twenties, had the opportunity to interview Tom Jones for a newspaper. She got to tell him about Aunt Rose. Tom Jones gave Lou two kisses-- one to share with Aunt Rose. But Aunt Rose never got that kiss; she died shortly thereafter.)

But shortly before Lou left that apartment over Aunt Rose's house to move to a different state, Aunt Rose found herself another love. A love she might love more than Tom Jones. It was that "nice-looking boy from New Jersey. Bruce Springstein." Springstein... like the Jewish pharmacist at the Osco Drug next to Purity Market. When pressed as to why she liked this upstart, she'd say she liked the "Born in the USA" song and that he had "a nice bum."

So the internets are a-buzz about this new HullabaLOU music festival debuting at Churchill Downs July 23-25, 2010. You know how much Mama loves a good outdoor music festival. New Orleans Jazz Fest (held at the Churchill New Orleans Fairgrounds property) used to be my most favoritest time of the year. And this year looks like the first year I'll be missing Bonnaroo since I started going three years ago. So I was all a-dither when I saw the announcement.

And when I saw the line-up? Well, I kind of thought of Great Aunt Rose. Actually, truth be told, I thought of a different aunt. The Aunt Rose heir-apparent Aunt who loves all those classic rock bands from her youth (38 Special, the Steve Miller Band, Kansas, the Doobie Brothers) but can still wax poetic about Dave Matthew's "nice bum" when fully tucked into her wine coolers.

Sure, there's a little something for almost everyone-- a little Gladys and Al for the soulsters, a little Govt Mule and DMB for the jam banders, a little Dwight and Loretta for Mama, a little Richard Marx for... WHO?? WHO the HECK is looking forward to Richard Marx??

But you've gotta wonder who these folks consulted with when planning this festival. My big hope is that, like Jazz Fest, they'll keep adding acts right up til showtime.

C'mon organizers: let's look at festivals like Bonnaroo and Coachella for line-up additions (step away from the casino tour circuit regulars!!). Maybe a little Prince? A little Leonard Cohen, perhaps? MMJ? U2? How 'bout that lovely Jewish pharmacist with the nice bum... that Springstein guy? I'm just saying. Aunt Rose would have been thrilled.

3 comments:

Zach Everson said...

You nailed it--a great idea with a disappointing lineup. Bonnaroo's worth the four-hour drive; HullabaLOU doesn't look like it'll merit the four-minute one.

Jules said...

Kenny Chesney, Dave Matthews, Bon Jovi- I have seen them all and love their music- I would be willing to "cross the bridge" to see them again if I wasn't afraid that I would be so disappointed with the rest of the weekend.

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