Hey, my long lost Louisvillagers,
I've been wanting to blog again for so many months... But my pessimism about the world has flooded my creative process with doubt, insecurity, and bone-deep sadness.
Today I had a virtual appointment with my shrink, and as she went through the litany of questions she came to--
Shrink: Are you still having intrusive thoughts about past traumas?
Me: It's worse now than usual, yeah.
S: Why is that?
Me: Well, it's hurricane season, and shit is going to go down in Louisville soon.
S: And why does that trigger you?
Me *annoyed because I've explained this before": Because I lived in post-Katrina New Orleans for 10 months. Because there are hurricanes out there. Because we have choppers in the air and military Hum-vees on the ground. Because, like in Post-K NOLA, people here are confused and angry and restricted from knowing the truth."
S: I forgot about that. Shit. I'm sorry. I understand it now.
###
So this afternoon I made this post on FB about our current crisis as the #BreonnaTaylor decision comes close. I opened it to "public" when an old college friend asked me to, and the comments have been like "drinking from the firehose" ever since. Here's the post with all corrections/ updates as right now with 300+ RTs:
TL;DR: The #BreonnaTaylor news is coming and all signs point to no; her murderers won't be charged. Sorry, the rest of this commentary is pretty rambling. Friends and family not in Louisville: For those of you still keeping an eye on the #BreonnaTaylor case I thought I'd give you an update before you read some out-of-town numb-nuts' ranting disinformation about our "war zone." All evidence points to the Atty General's office announcing whether her police murderers will be charged very soon.
And it's looking like the answer will be "no."
The LMPD has declared a State of Emergency for the city (UPDATE [7:30pm]: apparently that's not something the LMPD can legally do-- so it's a State of Emergency for the LMPD. Awesome. Great to know that their comms staff is up to the super challenging stuff that lies ahead).
They have bagged all meters downtown (means no parking). They have canceled all days off for cops until further notice. We've got helicopters in the sky (I live almost equidistant between Mitch McConnell's house and downtown, FYI). DHS police are guarding the court building-- which was boarded up this weekend-- and the buildings around it.
The National Guard is either on their way or getting ready to be. Note that shortly after Breonna was murdered, the National Guard killed a popular BBQ chef, so, not too happy with them coming back. The National Guard members come from all over, and many of them are young white men and women from small, rural towns. They aren't experienced in "policing" cities, whether it's downtown or the predominantly Black neighborhood where YaYa's BBQ is located (in a tragic footnote, David "YaYa" McAtee's nephew was murdered this weekend).
To the very best of my knowledge, and I have a lot of friends who are deep in their activism, downtown right now is peaceful.
The picture attached features the street around the corner from where the protests usually take place. There are LMPD checkpoints all around downtown and the reporter that took this photo was not allowed to pass through (which I don't think is legal???). So, this is the war zone.
(Update: 1:04am-- the photo should have been attributed to Ryan Van Selzer of 89.3 WFPL News Louisville
. I was typing with some urgency and couldn't remember Ryan's last name. [Update: 1:10-- and I STILL SPELLED IT WRONG-- It's Van Velzer. This is why you need editors and copywriters, kids.) And when I made the post public, it was like drinking from a fire hose. Some people have seen fit to see my lack of giving attribution to the very talented Ryan as a reason I should not be trusted. I am sorry for that and apologize to Ryan and to those of you who thought I was giving... "fake news," I guess. I appreciate preventative measures, but these are extreme and super unhelpful. Everyone is confused. No civilians really know anything. That kind of stuff makes angry people angrier.
If you, or anyone you care about, is still on the fence about this case or the murder of YaYa the BBQ man, please know this: Kentucky is a "Stand Your Ground" state. That means if someone is threatening you and you have nowhere to retreat to, you have the right to use a gun to protect yourself and property.
Both YaYa and Breonna's boyfriend were exercising their rights, but the NRA hasn't said a peep about their cases.
George Zimmerman's lawyers invoked that law. He's a free man, signing Skittles bags for big $$. Trayvon is dead. Breonna is dead. YaYa is dead. But Zimmerman is doing just fine (despite committing several crimes since Trayvon's murder).
For my city, for my friends, for every BIPOC and POC in Louisville, for the fact that justice will not be done, that these awful murderers will still be paid by MY tax dollars to roam the streets and terrorize my fellow Louisvillagers, that we're probably the next city to end up on the "Anarchist Cities" list and lose so much federal funding... yeah, all that. For sure.
I'll be fine. Sucks to live in yet ANOTHER city rife with corruption where the police can't be trusted... it's almost as if...
Will keep y'all posted. Don't believe the numb-nuts. Get your Louisville news from Louisville news sources (eff the New York Times specifically who recently said that the city was "ravaged by violence" and changed it to "sometimes violent"-- without even noting the change-- when every halfway reasonable person in Louisville sent messages of "WTF?!").
I recommend The Courier-Journal and WFPL public radio. The rest are pretty hit or miss.
Not fun. I'm too tired and present to deal with the awful people any more. Most of whom expressed their feelings in sort of this way:
like this
Reminder: there's nothing wrong with being called a "slut."
Peace. Loueyville.
