Louisville, Not Kentucky...

I've really wanted to start podcasting again. For years, my dearest friend, Linda Golden, and I co-hosted the podcast "Louisville, Not Kentucky" together. The "co-" in "co-hosted" is kind of a farce. I showed up, we shared our content, and then Linda would toil over the editing and publishing process by herself. I never learned those skills. 

But, then Linda's husband, got a career opportunity in Boston, then several in DC and the podcast ended. We did a proper ending, with goodbyes and such.

We had a decent following and a bevy of awesome guests. From the bugler who plays the call to the post at Churchill Downs (he let us hang with him in his cabin in the middle of the infield and made us earrings between races) to the Mayor, to locally iconic bartenders, restauranteurs, bloggers, theatre groups and more. We had merch. (I still have a lot of that merch.) We bought a tent and a table and hocked our podcast and merch and interviewed passers-by at street fairs and flea markets.

I kinda sorta met my husband via "Louisville, Not Kentucky." I met him, actually, on Twitter, but he then found the podcast and "fell in love" with my voice.

The flipside of the coin, Linda and I pissed off some Kentucky natives with the title of our podcast. Sometimes I think I'd be closer to some people I know if they still didn't hold a grudge against me for titling the podcast in a way that they think maligns the rest of the state.

In our defence, neither Linda nor I were from here. She came to Louisville from the Peace Corps in Africa to be with her partner, who was a bigwig at our local public media radio station. Before Africa, she had roots in NOLA, St. Louis, Houston, and Switzerland. I grew up in New England, went to college in NYC, lived in Tampa, Baton Rouge, NOLA,  a brief stint in Knoxville, and then here. 

Even though I was here for longer than Linda when she arrived, we shared a knowledge-hole when it came to the rest of Kentucky. I figured New Orleans is not like Baton Rouge, much less the rest of the state of Louisiana. Louisville is likewise a different beast than the rest of Kentucky.

But our name hurt people's feelings. They thought we were trying to make Louisville sound superior to the rest of the state. And maybe there was a shred of truth in that. But having lived in both Baton Rouge and New Orleans, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the largest city in La. has so very little in common with BR, the capitol, they seem like different states.

I feel that way about Louisville, too. But I get why people were mad. And I will mull over future names if I decide to pick this up again.

So here I am with the desire to start a new podcast, not well in touch with my former co-host, regretting the old name a bit (regretting losing touch with Linda with all my heart), but also not wanting to start from scratch. Of the 47 original episodes, only the last 4 exist still on Soundcloud, and I don't know how or if that can be fixed. I don't know how to edit podcasts, but if I can learn Spanish from Duolingo, I can learn to podcast somewhere online. I have none of the equipment I would need. Linda got all of those second-plus-hand from her husband. 

And I am wholly committed to using the old "Louisville, Not Kentucky" logo because it was designed by an ex, the memory of whom always pisses me off, but whose logo design is hella great.  

Do any of you have any thoughts about this? New name? Great podcasting/editing software tutorials? What would you want me to talk about (note, I'm only interested in Louisville stuff right now)? Guests? Wanna be a guest? Have something to promote? How do I distance podcast? 

Things are a lot right now... I wanted to get back to blogging, but not like this.

Hey, my long lost Louisvillagers,

I've been wanting to blog again for so many months... But my pessimism about the world has flooded my creative process with doubt, insecurity, and bone-deep sadness. 

Today I had a virtual appointment with my shrink, and as she went through the litany of questions she came to--

Shrink: Are you still having intrusive thoughts about past traumas?

Me: It's worse now than usual, yeah.

S: Why is that? 

Me: Well, it's hurricane season, and shit is going to go down in Louisville soon.

S: And why does that trigger you?

Me *annoyed because I've explained this before": Because I lived in post-Katrina New Orleans for 10 months. Because there are hurricanes out there. Because we have choppers in the air and military Hum-vees on the ground. Because, like in Post-K NOLA, people here are confused and angry and restricted from knowing the truth."

S: I forgot about that. Shit. I'm sorry. I understand it now.

###

So this afternoon I made this post on FB about our current crisis as the #BreonnaTaylor decision comes close. I opened it to "public" when an old college friend asked me to, and the comments have been like "drinking from the firehose" ever since. Here's the post with all corrections/ updates as right now with 300+ RTs: 

TL;DR: The #BreonnaTaylor news is coming and all signs point to no; her murderers won't be charged. Sorry, the rest of this commentary is pretty rambling.

Friends and family not in Louisville: For those of you still keeping an eye on the #BreonnaTaylor case I thought I'd give you an update before you read some out-of-town numb-nuts' ranting disinformation about our "war zone."

All evidence points to the Atty General's office announcing whether her police murderers will be charged very soon.

And it's looking like the answer will be "no."

The LMPD has declared a State of Emergency for the city (UPDATE [7:30pm]: apparently that's not something the LMPD can legally do-- so it's a State of Emergency for the LMPD. Awesome. Great to know that their comms staff is up to the super challenging stuff that lies ahead).

They have bagged all meters downtown (means no parking). They have canceled all days off for cops until further notice. We've got helicopters in the sky (I live almost equidistant between Mitch McConnell's house and downtown, FYI). DHS police are guarding the court building-- which was boarded up this weekend-- and the buildings around it.

The National Guard is either on their way or getting ready to be. Note that shortly after Breonna was murdered, the National Guard killed a popular BBQ chef, so, not too happy with them coming back. The National Guard members come from all over, and many of them are young white men and women from small, rural towns. They aren't experienced in "policing" cities, whether it's downtown or the predominantly Black neighborhood where YaYa's BBQ is located (in a tragic footnote, David "YaYa" McAtee's nephew was murdered this weekend).

To the very best of my knowledge, and I have a lot of friends who are deep in their activism, downtown right now is peaceful.

The picture attached features the street around the corner from where the protests usually take place. There are LMPD checkpoints all around downtown and the reporter that took this photo was not allowed to pass through (which I don't think is legal???). So, this is the war zone.

(Update: 1:04am-- the photo should have been attributed to Ryan Van Selzer of

89.3 WFPL News Louisville

. I was typing with some urgency and couldn't remember Ryan's last name. [Update: 1:10-- and I STILL SPELLED IT WRONG-- It's Van Velzer. This is why you need editors and copywriters, kids.) And when I made the post public, it was like drinking from a fire hose. Some people have seen fit to see my lack of giving attribution to the very talented Ryan as a reason I should not be trusted. I am sorry for that and apologize to Ryan and to those of you who thought I was giving... "fake news," I guess.

I appreciate preventative measures, but these are extreme and super unhelpful. Everyone is confused. No civilians really know anything. That kind of stuff makes angry people angrier.

If you, or anyone you care about, is still on the fence about this case or the murder of YaYa the BBQ man, please know this: Kentucky is a "Stand Your Ground" state. That means if someone is threatening you and you have nowhere to retreat to, you have the right to use a gun to protect yourself and property.

Both YaYa and Breonna's boyfriend were exercising their rights, but the NRA hasn't said a peep about their cases.

George Zimmerman's lawyers invoked that law. He's a free man, signing Skittles bags for big $$. Trayvon is dead. Breonna is dead. YaYa is dead. But Zimmerman is doing just fine (despite committing several crimes since Trayvon's murder).

Am I scared?

For my city, for my friends, for every BIPOC and POC in Louisville, for the fact that justice will not be done, that these awful murderers will still be paid by MY tax dollars to roam the streets and terrorize my fellow Louisvillagers, that we're probably the next city to end up on the "Anarchist Cities" list and lose so much federal funding... yeah, all that. For sure.

I'll be fine. Sucks to live in yet ANOTHER city rife with corruption where the police can't be trusted... it's almost as if...

Will keep y'all posted. Don't believe the numb-nuts. Get your Louisville news from Louisville news sources (eff the New York Times specifically who recently said that the city was "ravaged by violence" and changed it to "sometimes violent"-- without even noting the change-- when every halfway reasonable person in Louisville sent messages of "WTF?!").

I recommend The Courier-Journal and WFPL public radio. The rest are pretty hit or miss. Not fun. I'm too tired and present to deal with the awful people any more. Most of whom expressed their feelings in sort of this way: like this

Reminder: there's nothing wrong with being called a "slut."

Peace. Loueyville.