Louisville Slugfest and summer preview

It's an utter travesty that I have lived in Louisville for almost two years and have never set foot in the Louisville Slugger Museum (unless you count the gift shop). Tonight I had a work related shin-fest at the Museum and enjoyed my tour immensely. In fact, it seemed like, in my tour group, I was the only person truly transfixed by every aspect of the factory.

Sure I've been to Fenway a few times, but where else can you plant a "good luck" smooch on Manny Ramirez's actual bat???? My heart was a-flutter, lemme tell you. I did get some strange looks when we exited the tour to a room featuring a HUGE portrait of David Ortiz and I said, "Big Papi! My boyfriend!!" Lou has no boyfriend, per se, but lots o' "boyfriends," including half the Boston Red Sox (special love to Lowell, Papi, Manny, and Lester), Bono (my original boyfriend), Glen "Big Baby" Davis of the Celtics, John Edwards, and countless others...

Last weekend, I went to a function downtown and left to go to my car and saw that the BIG Louisville Slugger Bat outside the museum was lit up in pink light to honor the MLB's pink bat, breast cancer fundraiser. I had to pause a moment because I was so choked up. But I did manage to get a picture of it.

Um, yeah, y'all don't need a map to point you into the direction that Mama Lou's health crisis has taken her.

That being said, contrary to most summers of her teaching career, Lou will be right here at home for the bulk of the summer. So while there may be some dead time, (ew, blech, bad, bad, bad slip o' the tongue) I should be able to report on all the summer goings-on.

Bonnaroo may be a no-go for me. But we still have the AAA All-Star Game and the Ryders Cup and For'castle Fest to look forward to... Stay tuned Louisvillagers. Lou will be just fine.

TBC: To Be Continued

Unfortunately, Lou has been diagnosed with a fairly serious health problem. It could be months before she's able to return to her regular blog.

Please send your good wishes Lou's way. Even though she is a godless heathen she still appreciates all prayers and love transmitted in her direction.

Mama loves all of you. Louisville rocks.

xo

Eight Belles

Like the rest of America, I watched the end of the Derby horror-struck, sickened, unable to process my surging adreniline and the flood of grief. The party I was at took on a funeral air for the most part, and after several numbing mint juleps, I went home. And sobbed through six tissues.

Eight Belles was a pretty horse, a horse with tremendous heart. And though it may be somewhat crass to admit this, I don't know that collectively we would have despaired the loss of any horse in this year's Derby in quite the same way that we've felt the loss of this horse. For all the speculation and admiration that followed horses like the incredible Big Brown and the other favorites, Eight Belles was the story. The filly who skipped the Oaks to race with the boys. A filly more evenly matched with Derby colts than most people recognized. Her numbers put her flat in the middle of the pack-- even before she raced, it was clear that at least half of the field didn't measure up to her.

And, again, probably not a popular opinion, but the fact that she was a girl, I think, plays on our collective sympathies even more. Her trainer and owner and jockey fawned over her in a way that people don't fawn over colts. Called her "sweetheart" and "baby." And speaking for myself, as a woman, I loved the "girl power" aspect of the story. If I'd been able to bet on Derby day, I would have put my money on her (and, of course, my Denis of Cork-- bless his heart to come from 20th to finish 3rd-- he's still a horse to watch), especially after seeing her on TV on Derby Day. She just looked like she had a win in her.

I like to talk a good game, but in reality I know bupkus about horse racing in the grand scheme of things. And, like many people, my knee jerk reaction to the tragedy was to think, "I don't know how I can ever watch horseracing again." I felt that way when I watched a horse die in the paddock area of Keeneland last fall, a senseless and incomprehensible death where the horse reared, fell down, and broke his neck on the bricks.

And that was my gut reaction: "I don't know if I can watch horseracing again" not "should horseracing exist."

But that's been a question that's been raised in the wake of this horrible loss and in the wake of the loss of Barbaro. In some online news sources, I've seen pundits speculate about whether or not there's a difference between horseracing and dogfighting. Speculation that we condemn one and celebrate the other only based on the socioeconomic differences between the fans.

Again, I stress that I come from no place of expertise when it comes to horseracing. But I can honestly say that for the most part I have more concern for the treatment and well being of the humans who work on the backside of the track than I do for the horses on a day-to-day basis. And yes, that does concern me.

The questions that should be raised-- and are being raised by many-- are ones about reform to the sport. Should all tracks move to Polytrack? Tracks like Santa Anita have seen dramatic reductions in catastrophic injuries since moving to Polytrack. Should we be looking at reform in horse breeding? European racehorses are more hearty than their American counterparts. Should we be doing more when it comes to horse medicine? There is now sophisticated medical imaging technology that can detect even the most delicate fracture.

There are always going to be things about horseracing that upset me. But that doesn't necessarily set it apart from other sports. Athletes in general risk injury or worse for the love of the sport and for their fans. The level of excess at the Derby is generally appalling, but events like the Superbowl have it beat.

I will say this categorically: I really, truly, passionately wish they'd ban whips.

But I do think, for the most part, horses are very well cared for. I believe they have generally good lives. And I do believe that they love to run. It's hard not to believe that when you watch a horse race.

What happened to Eight Belles was a senseless, incomprehensible tragedy. And as I still try to recover from the news, I'm reminded by other news today that life is just goddamned full of senseless, incomprehensible tragedies. 10,000+ dead in Myanmar. Six sea lions shot dead while trapped in humane traps on the Columbia River. 12,000 kids in China sick with a deadly virus.

It doesn't make this any less sad. Nor is the answer to shuttle it off as just one more thing to outrage and appall us.

Online today at the NYTimes, this was posted in the comments of The Rail blog:

Michael Blowen, of Old Friends (http://oldfriendsequine.com) sent me this
e-mail on Sunday that he received from a young fan:
Hello. My name is XXXX,
and I am 11 years old, and I won money off of Eight Bells at a Derby party
yesterday. I feel so bad about what happened to her that I can not enjoy my
money that I won. So, I am going to donate my winnings to your organazation and
so is my mom. I found out about you on the internet last night. Your farm sounds
like a very nice place. I am asking everyone that I know if they also won money
off of Eight Bells, and if they would like to dotate their money as well. Some
people that I am asking are donating money just to be nice. So I just wanted to
let you know that as soon as I collect the money, my mom will send you a check.
From, XXXX
— Posted by alex

Also worth checking out: Jane Smiley's Op-Ed column.

Lou Loves the Longshots for Derby

Forgive me if this blog entry is a little soggy. I'm still drying out after yesterday's Oaks.

Yesterday was a washout. Buddy and I got there just before Race 5 and around an hour before the rains started. And what rains they were. Big drops blown sideways by hard winds, thunder, lightning. At one point Churchill had to lower the score boards. Buddy and I were, of course, among the riff raff on the infield. Finally, after having spent more than an hour off and on in the shelter of an ATM tent, we grabbed a giant recycling sign, held it over our heads, and made our way to the Grandstand where we dried off a bit and watched the Oaks on the monitors.

Honestly, it wasn't much fun. I was dressed for the 78 degree morning and not the 62 degree wet afternoon. We froze our tuchases off. I did have my annual julep, and then a woman next to me bought a Filly and asked if she could pour the drink in my empty glass. I must have looked at her like she was crazy because she said, "I'm in recovery. I just wanted the glass." I didn't have the heart to tell her that she could get one at Walgreens for $2.50.

All and all it wasn't a bad day for my pocketbook. Lou has once again proven that she's decent at picking the second or third place horse (but never, ever first). Out of the five races I put money on, my horse placed in three. I had the impressive Little Belles for the Oaks and she came in 2nd. I wasn't betting super long odds-- most were 7-1 or 8-1. Belles was 5-1.

That being said, Mama loves her the underdogs, and with most handicappers drooling over Colonel John, Big Brown, and Pyro, I think the Derby field is a good place to look for the longshots to shine.

After spending about an hour with the C-J Derby Preview, here are my choices for double-digit odds that could pull off a win.

Of course, my baby, Denis of Cork. He's 20-1 morning odds. Definitely underrated and his fifth place bomb recently has caused a lot of people to put blinders on when it comes to Denis. The only things this puppy has going against him are (a) I've got my money on him and (b) he's named after a priest from Ireland. Last year's religiously named horse-- Dominican-- was also "my" pony, and he came in middle of the pack. This is science, folks!

Recapturetheglory (20-1) has great Best Beyer and BRIS numbers, but his Dosage is 5.00, the highest of the field (and no, Lou has no idea what these numbers really mean). In the Illinois Derby (during which he beat Denis), he ran the last 3/8 in 36.2 and the last 1/8 in 12.2. Killer numbers bested in last starts only by favorite Colonel John and Visionaire.

So that's why Visionaire makes the list. Visionaire (20-1) has less stunning numbers, but had an amazing finish in the Bluegrass. He came in 5th but rocketed at the end.

Eight Belles' (20-1) numbers are better than Recapturetheglory's and she's among the fastest horses out there. A filly hasn't won the Derby since 1988, so let's face it... we're way overdue. She gave up a chance to trounce the Oaks field for a shot at the Derby. You gotta love those guts. And her stablemate Proud Spell took the Oaks, making this a possible storybook weekend for Larry Jones.

Bob Black Jack (20-1) is my final longshot. Second best numbers in the field after Big Brown. Finished second after Colonel John in the Santa Anita... handicappers like him as a longshot. But he's my least favorite longshot. Will bet him only if odds stay at 20 or better.

There you have it, Colts and Fillies. Bet at your own risk; I'm not really a handicapper, I just play one on the internet. Good luck! Go Denis of Cork!!

Denis of Cork wins the (kindergarten) Derby!

Lou has it on good authority that Denis of Cork won the prestigious Louisville Collegiate School Kindergarten Derby this morning!  The event has been going on for more than 45 years.  Congrats to Denis of Cork (this Denis of Cork happened to be a filly).

By the way, the Mayor's office has declared May 1 official Louisville Collegiate School Kindergarten Derby Day.

Happy Oaks Eve!

---

Plan your next roadtrip with MapQuest.com: America's #1 Mapping Site.

Mapother Update

Apparently, the actor is investing in his hometown! On April 8, the C-J reported that Mapother and a group of investors is "is planning a year-round farmers market on a one-acre parcel on East Jefferson Street that it bought for $1.1 million." Augusta Brown Holland, the wife of film producer and Louisville transplant Gil Holland, said "the goal is to pattern the Louisville market after such successful projects as the Pike Place Market in Seattle and Chelsea Market in New York City."

"She and her husband said they want to offer one-stop shopping for not only produce, but also some meats, fish and perhaps even wine and cheese. The plan calls for several places to eat on site."

Very exciting!

Derby Post Selection

Derby Post selection just took place at Fourth Street Live. Denis of Cork took post 16-- three horses have won from that post. Woo hoo! They sure do drag this out...

More on the other horses' positions here.

LOST Louisvillager-- who knew?

Not me, obviously.

Last night, Roommate and I attempted to see Actors Theatre's production of Doubt. I say "attempted" because about twenty minutes into the show (twenty minutes of mostly good), the whirly stage ground to a halt and stopped whirling. The voice of God came over the loudspeaker and informed us that, as it was probably going to take around "10 hours" to fix the stage, it was probably best if we didn't stick around. We re-ticketed for next Tuesday.

In the meantime, we had a chance to check out the 2008-09 season for Actors, which was just recently announced. We're of different minds about the line-up. Roommate said he thought it was as good or better than this past season; I looked through the list and had a resounding "meh" reaction.

What did interest me, however (because I am a serious geek) was the fact that Glengarry Glen Ross was listed as "starring TV's LOST's William Mapother."

I told Roommate that while the name looked familiar, I didn't recognize the name as one who plays any of the major LOST characters. (so obviously, I may be a serious geek, but not a very good one) Roommate convinced me that Mapother must play Bernard. Who I love. So I was happy.

But today-- thanks Google and imdb.com-- I discovered that William Mapother is/was (so hard to say with LOST's malliable timeline) Ethan AND a Louisvillager! (This, however, does not explain why, when you Google "William Mapother" it gives you a link to his homepage, but the description of the homepage is: "Consultant to the consumer credit industry on bankruptcy." Dual life??)

Apologies that this is probably not new news to most Louisvillagers, but remember this Lou was a New Orleanian when Mapother first appeared on LOST.

Mapother has also recently done a stint on the now cancelled K-Ville. Shame, that-- the cancellation not the appearance. Mapother graduated from St. X in 1983 (and is a fellow English Major). He's also appeared in several indie films. And he just had a birthday. Happy birthday!

The reason the name sounded familiar is that William is a Mapother of the Tom Cruise Mapother IV Mapothers and their shared great-great grandfather emigrated from Wales to Louisville in 1850.

And because this Lou can find any reason to waste tons of time online, I've since discovered that he's a very funny guy, has good taste in tv and music, has a uncannily large fan base online (a couple of his fan sites have been around for years), and is called in several places "the nicest guy you'd hope to meet."

Mapother will be appearing at Actors in August and September. Looking forward to it.

Here are links to some of his fan sites: william mapother.net and a blog.

Last year he attended the Taste of Oaks Celebrity Party. Wonder if he'll be in town this year? (okay, Mama may be crushing a little here.)

Update: Horse in the Race!!!

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HOT DOG!!!

Denis of Cork nabbed a spot on the Derby yesterday when another horse was rerouted to the Preakness. Calvin Borel, last year's winning jockey (and possessor of the world's greatest "happy face"), will ride.

Borel, who was convinced that his mount Street Sense would win last year's Derby, has said about Denis of Cork: "Looking at all the other horses that have a lot of speed in the race, I think he'd overcome them so quick it'd be unbelievable."

Mama's got two futures bets on this puppy-- one at 100-1. I won't be able to retire in this baby wins, but I will probably pass out cold. Just a little heads up to those expecting to be in my general proximity on Derby Day.

While I am prone to hyperbole, this is actually not an exaggeration. Two weekends ago, Roommate and I went to Keeneland, and I put $2 across the board on a 29-1 horse named Samba Rooster in the Lexington Stakes. His numbers were just too good to ignore. Samba Rooster LED the entire race until the last turn when he was overtaken by Behindatthebar-- hmmm, who just happens to be the horse that is going to the Preakness leaving room in the Derby for my pony... a sign perhaps?

If you happened to be at Lexington that day, I was the short blonde up by the rail with her arms waving in the air, jumping up and down, shouting, "GO ROOSTER!!! GO ROOSTER!!! And when the horses made the turn and Samba Rooster started to lag back a bit, I had to grab onto Roommate's arm because I was out of breath and dizzy. Samba Rooster came in 2nd (netting me around $40, thankyouverymuch, pony). Had he won, I probably would have hit the ground in a breathless heap. I know, I know, it's not THAT much money. But it really is so... exciting!

GO DENIS OF CORK!!

NTDWL: My "future wife" is so smart

Seriously... Elizabeth Edwards in 2012, folks.

Her NYT Op-ed from this weekend is brilliant!

Comedy Caravan: Obama fundraiser 4/30

Since my well-coiffed future husband, John Edwards, resigned from the race, it will probably come as no suprise that Lou officially endorses Obama. (Please note that saying that JE is my "future husband" is no reflection on my feelings for Elizabeth Edwards-- see my review of her speaking engagement in Lexington here. She is an amazing woman and at times I liked to pretend that she was running for prez instead of John. Heck, if I swung that way, she could be my "future wife." I wish her continued health. There's always 2012.)

Next Wednesday, April 30, the Comedy Caravan hosts an Artists for Obama fundraiser featuring Tony Yates with performances by Keith McGill, Lawrence Thomas & Will Hardesty. Doors open at 7pm and the show starts at 8pm. Tickets are $15 and donations to the campaign are encouraged. Sources say that the Caravan has been receiving negative feedback for hosting this fundraiser, despite having hosted Republican events in the past without similar protest. That alone is a reason to attend-- support free speech, y'all.

Speaking of Comedy Caravan, from May 1-4, the comedy club is opening its stage to comics in town for the Derby. There's no slate of performers, but it's likely some A-list comics will show up to give impromptu shows. I'll let you know if I hear any good rumors.

Required Derby Reading: "This Saw Boone?"

This time next week, I'll probably be sunburned and stupid after Oaks Day at Churchill Downs. "Stupid" is not necessarily a euphamism for "drunk," as I've learned the hard way that Lou + adult beverages + open betting windows = Ramen Noodles for the next few weeks.

Last year at this time, I felt like I had a better handle on the ponies. Or at least I thought I did. I put my big money on Dominican to take it all. There was no alcohol involved in that bet; she'd won me good money at the Bluegrass Stakes.

This year Mama has an awesome futures bet on Denis of Cork. All the pony pundits say that he's been working out like he's the one to beat, unfortunately he hasn't yet earned his way onto the Derby card. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I've been getting myself in the mood by reading classic Derby essays by Faulkner and our native son Hunter S. Thompson.

If you're a Derby purist, Faulkner's 1955 Sports Illustrated articles celebrate the beauty of the Bluegrass region and the magestic athleticism of the thoroughbred racehorse: So it is not just betting, the chance to prove with money your luck or what you call your judgment, that draws people to horse races. It is much deeper than that. It is a sublimation, a transference: man, with his admiration for speed and strength, physical power far beyond what he himself is capable of, projects his own desire for physical supremacy, victory, onto the agent—the baseball or football team, the prizefighter. Only the horse race is more universal because the brutality of the prizefight is absent, as well as the attenuation of football or baseball—the long time needed for the orgasm of victory to occur, where in the horse race it is a matter of minutes, never over two or three, repeated six or eight or 10 times in one afternoon.

If you're happier in the infield, good ol' Hunter S. provides a dizzying account of his first experience with Ralph Steadman at the 1970 Derby. Considered the first example of Thompson's trademark "gonzo journalism," "The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved" uses the Derby as only a backdrop for an essay that's more about overindulgence, the international and social politics of the Vietnam/post-Civil Rights era, and-- as always with Thompson-- Thompson himself.

He writes: This was the last coherent decision we were able to make for the next forty-eight hours. From that point on--almost from the very moment we started out to the track--we lost all control of events and spent the rest of the weekend churning around in a sea of drunken horrors. My notes and recollections from Derby Day are somewhat scrambled....But now, looking at the big red notebook I carried all through that scene, I see more or less what happened. The book itself is somewhat mangled and bent; some of the pages are torn, others are shriveled and stained by what appears to be whiskey, but taken as a whole, with sporadic memory flashes, the notes seem to tell the story.

Interesting that Thompson notes in his essay that they didn't sell alcohol in the infield during Derby and that it cost $25 to park in the driveway of one of the houses near Churchill; some things change and some things stay the same. Weird that inflation hasn't yet taken hold of the neighbors in the Churchill 'hood ($25 is still about right these days) but in our increasingly parental society somehow Churchill has gotten less concerned about personal safety (booze in the infield-- heck yeah).

Enjoy your required reading!

OHNA Art and Music Festival Teams with Ryder Cup

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I remember when I first moved here the Ryder Cup seemed so far away, and it seemed so damned silly to already have a countdown to the event hanging in the rafters of 4th Street Live. Then again, I'm not a big fan of the golf (although this year's Masters winner was kind of a cutie). How time flies...

Just got an email from the Original Highlands Neighborhood Association saying that this year our Original Highlands Art and Music Festival on September 12, 2008 will be part of the Ryder Cup Experience. Mark your calendars. A good time will be had by all and this year a part of the proceeds from the event will benefit the new Gilda's Club of Louisville on Baxter Ave.

Breaking Bad in the Highlands

This morning, Grinstead Avenue was closed due to a meth lab fire. According to the C-J article, it was a "small to medium" lab and the fire was under control within 15 minutes but the scene was still being cleaned up more than seven hours after the fire.

Back in NOLA, especially after Katrina, I used to spend a lot of time reading the message boards on our local newspaper's website. I've only just now started to pay a tiny bit of attention to those on the C-J's site. Seriously, if you ever want to have an understanding of the depths of paranoia, insanity, bigotry, and assholishry in any given community, check out its local online message boards. Whooo-eeee, that's some scary stuff. Maybe more scary than having a meth lab in your hood (albeit less detrimental to your property values).

Exhibit A from Liquidat31: The drug problem will never be under control. Never has been, never will be. That is why successful people don't live in areas the drug dealers live in. You rarely see a meth lab in Prospect or East Louisville. Occasionally a loser will slip thru the cracks, but overall those areas are filled with successful people. Therefore, if you don't like the drugs then you need to get a real income that will put you in a decent area. That is the only thing you can control....you can't control the losers around you.

For the record, if you stood at the site of the meth lab and spit really, really hard, you might be able to hit the windows of the houses on Cherokee Road, one of the most tony 'hoods in the city and home to a lot of successful people. A bit of hyperbole, but only just... in fact, let's let MapQuest decide for us... yep, as the crow flies it's 404 feet, the length of a fairly average home run hit. So a hit, yes. A spit, no. (BTW: the world record for cherry pit spitting is a whopping 95 feet and 6.5 inches. Whoa.)

Shock Waves

There have been, at this point, seven aftershocks from this morning's earthquake-- the largest, a 4.2, at 11:14am. I didn't feel that one, but I swear I felt one around 8:30am. Thank goodness there has been no major damage and no injuries because, after the fact, I'm still not able to shake (punny!) the whole "that's so cool" attitude.

Something Else to Look Forward To

Lou will once again be attending Bonnaroo this year.

How could she not with a line up that includes: Willie Nelson, Pearl Jam, Robert Plant & Allison Kraus, BB King, Sigur Ros, Ben Folds, Drive-by Truckers... and so on? You can see the full line-up at www.bonnaroo.com.

You can check out Lou's coverage of Bonnaroo 2007 here.

It's the Wabash's Fault

I probably shouldn't be giggly about this, but all "firsts" have a whiff of thrill. First day of school, first kiss, first warm day of spring... first earthquake.

At 5:26am, Lou was awakened from a bad dream (good timing!) by a feeling that can be best described as the optimal motion for Jiffy-Pop popping: a firm but smooth sliding back and forth with a tremble up and down. My bedroom sits atop my cellar, and therefore my hot water heater and my furnace. My first thoughts were:

Oh my God, something down there is getting ready to blow! In a few seconds, I will be propelled by a geyser of boiling water through the roof, atop my bed, like something out of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

The most surprising thing to me was how long the earthquake lasted. Later it dawned on me that if that had been a BIG earthquake, that's a long damned time to feel terrified. News articles don't say how long the tremor lasted, but it lasted long enough for me to wake up, sit up, have the aforementioned thought, have a subsequent thought that I might be imagining the whole thing because it was so quiet, break the silence by calling out plaintively to my roommate: "Roommate??", listen to his response: "Yeah, I don't know what it is either...." and then some.

That's a long damned time, folks.

Anyway, today's earthquake was the strongest in 40 years and the second strongest on record for the region. Damage sustained by the 5.2 earthquake was relatively minimal, although a downtown Louisville building lost bricks, as you can see above. The Wabash Valley Fault, the fault allegedly responsible for the quake, is an offshoot of the New Madrid Fault; the epicenter of the quake was in S. Illinois, but tremors from this quake were felt as far south as Florida. I know... it doesn't make a lick of sense to me either... geology is weird. But here's an explanation from CNN.com:

"Pretty typically for these eastern-central U.S. earthquakes, they're felt over a very broad area," said Dave Applegate, USGS senior science adviser, adding that quakes in California tend to be more localized. "The Earth's crust is older and less fractured in the Midwest than in California, and the region's deep sediment "shakes a lot," Applegate said. "Older crust, when you have an earthquake, it rings like a bell."

My favorite part of the CNN.com article is that they interviewed George Noory in St. Louis, the host of the radio show Coast-to-Coast, who said: "Everything shook...I thought the building was going to collapse." And I thought, Oh come on, George, that was probably the LAST thing you were thinking about during the quake... c'mon, you know you were wondering if it was the Mothership was finally here to take you home.

Because, honestly, I had some loopy thoughts like that meself. When Roommate appeared in my doorway after the shaking stopped, we started bandying around possible causes. When we both acknowledged the rarity of earthquakes in the Midwest, I knew there could only be one answer: monsters. Giant tectonic plate moving monsters underground.

I love me those X-Files re-runs on Sci Fi Channel.

Pegasus Parade Grand Marshall Announced

Chef Bobby Flay? Seriously? Blech.

I wonder how Lynn of Lynn's Paradise Cafe feels about that. She whupped his arrogant, condescending ass in an episode of Throwdown with Bobby Flay.

Shoot, I'd rather Lynn be the Grand Marshall. She's sassy!

Honorary Grand Marshall (what's the diff?) is hometown celebrity Patrick Hughes.

Geoff "Jeff" Davis Representing the Worst of KY

Remember, Lou moved here from New Orleans, so she's no stranger to deeply embarrassing political leaders. (Thank Jeebus, though, I didn't live in Louisiana when they almost elected a governor who was a Grand Dragon in the KKK). That doesn't mean my head didn't pop off when I heard that KY Representative Geoff Davis said, in reference to Obama:

"I'm going to tell you something: That boy's finger does not need to be on the button. He could not make a decision in that simulation that related to a nuclear threat to this country."

Gasp. Choke. At a GOP dinner in KY.

Davis's reps have not denied or tried to explain away what he said, and Davis himself is reported to have hand-delivered an apology to Obama. But interestingly enough, I haven't seen one single report that tells me how the crowd reacted to the comment.

Was it: Gasp? Choke?

Was it?

Because here's the thing, what stuck me as so jaw-dropping about the whole thing is that Geoff Davis is not some withered old Strom Thurman dinosaur. The man's 49 years old! Sure, it's no less offensive when fossils crack open their bigoted big mouths and let some heinous slur spill out, but-- and let's hope lightening doesn't strike me down for saying so-- when a fossil says something assholish, then we can at least comfort ourselves with the knowledge that the fossil, and those who share fossil's archaic beliefs and preferences, will not be long with us. (That's a very bad thing to say, Lou. Do shame!)

This man's not even old enough to be my dad (well, okay, maybe if he was a strapping young just-barely-teen who "really listens and understands," and my mama were a Florida schoolteacher). We've got a good twenty, thirty, maybe even forty years of his brand o' bigotry to endure.

Email Geoff Davis at his website. He's the Rep for Kentucky's 4th District ("the fightin' fourth!") which includes the area right around Cincinnati (which, yes, I know is NOT in Kentucky, but it kinda feels like it is). Davis sits on the board of CASA, the Court Appointed Special Advocates, working with juveniles who have been abused and neglected. He and his daughter have mentored in inner-city schools. I'm thinking the folks in charge of having Davis work with these kids might want to think about how being called a "boy" by this big rich white man may effect of a young black inner city youth.

(Note: I say Davis is rich because, seriously, who can afford to have SIX kids these days except rich people? Well, except Jon and Kate from TLC and that fundamentalist family with 17 kids on the Discovery Channel. Huh. I didn't realize that Jon & Kate are super religious. Never would have guessed from the couple of shows that I've seen. Now see, this is how the religious right is going to take over the world-- by breeding!! Oh, now, Lou's taken quite the side trip here).

(Isn't Jeff Davis the Garfield guy? Oh no, no, that's Jim Davis. No, Jeff Davis was the President of the Confederacy... well, now, that's awkward!)

Mama's Got a Brand New Bag

A teaser for all my loyal readers... today, Lou followed her quirk and let her freak flag fly and, as a result landed a part-time job. Although she signed a few bits of paper and pledged her allegiance, she won't be making the big announcement until after Derby.

Until then, here's a little hint: Mama's gonna get to play with some high tech gadgets, officially be an ambassador to her favorite unsung city, and make use of her exceptional "spooky" voice.

Stay tuned, ghouls and ghouliettes!